Depression was nothing new for Charlie Maxwell. He was sad most of the time, so when it was raining that morning, well, it did not surprise him. When the umbrella would not open and he had to walk to the bus stop without the aid of the umbrella, well, that surprised him even less. He was not sure that he was getting anywhere. He was not sure that he was any less surprised when he got to the office and found that he had been given the only pink slip in the whole office.
He wasn’t sure what was going to happen. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Maybe this wasn’t happening at all. Maybe there was nothing he could do. Maybe it was time for a career change, but he was not looking forward to it, not in the least. He was hoping that a new job was going to fall in his lap, but he was not sure that was going to happen.
He had tried to talk to his boss — to find out what had gone wrong. There was no time for that. He was being told to clear out his things. He was expected to clear his desk out. The boss wanted him to clear his things out as soon as he could so that he could turn in his office ID, and he could be on his way.
Charlie packed his things, and was glad that the rain had stopped for at least a few moments when he was packing the box to the bus. He was not sure that he was at all ready to go to his house. He was not sure that he was ready to face the emptiness, but that was what was what was coming.
As the days passed, and Charlie became a little more desperate, he finally got his application for unemployment turned in. He still had no clue why his boss had laid him off. He was not sure what he had done wrong, but it was not something that he felt like he could really talk to people about. He felt really lousy about the whole thing. He really did. He wanted to know what to do about it. He wanted to have his old job back. Not the one he had just been let go from, but rather the job he’d had before that.
Charlie had been an animal control officer. He had been in the job for a long time, and that had been the best job for him. He had longed for a lot of things. He had been able to work by himself, working to help take care of animals. He was sure that it had worked out, but there was a lot of things that he had not done well. He had done everything he could think of to make sure that he did the job right. Then he got the call one day, he was being offered a job in an office across town. He had been offered the chance to apply for a job that was supposed to pay better, and offer him better benefits.
He took the job. Now he had lost that job. He had just given everything he had to get a job that he had kept for a little over two years and then the boss cut him, and he wouldn’t tell him why. ow Charlie was going to have to go and talk to the boss at his old job and see if he had a spot for him. It was all he had. Charlie had been the happiest when he had been in that job.
He had to admit that he didn’t quite think that this was the right direction to go. He was not sure that any of this was the right way to go. He was not sure that unemployment was going to pay. He was not sure he was going to get anywhere. He was not sure he was going to get anything. Part of him wanted to just stay in bed that morning, but he knew that was not going to help anyone. He knew there was nothing he could do to help any of this. He just wanted to curl up in a ball and not come out until this was all over, but nothing was coming of any of it. He was going to have to face the world.
He crawled out of bed that morning, with the deepest feeling of dread in his heart. He could tell that something in his life was amiss. Something was not right, but he could not tell just exactly what it was. He could only hope and pray for the strength to make it through the day, but this morning he was not sure that he believed that there was a God. He was not sure that there was anything he could do anything about that anymore. He was letting go of the things that he had been holding onto for so very long. He was so much in need of seeing something with his own two eyes, that he had not seen God or anything that God had really done in his life.
He had heard that there were no such things as miracles these days. He had been told that God quit performing miracles when things got to where they were today, but was that really the case. Charlie had not witnessed anything miraculous. He had seen one disaster after the next. He was feeling pretty bummed about things. That was just the nature of the best. He was sure that things were going to only get worse before they got any better.
Charlie put on his best blazer and a tie. He knew that he would not need them, but it was the best that he could do. He had to hope that it would be enough to sell someone on how good of an employee he really was. He was still hoping that the person that he was looking to be employed by, well, they wouldn’t even worry about what he was wearing. They might not like that he ditched them for some office job two years ago. He was sure that there were some of the people in animal control who hated him for making the change. There were plenty of people who hated him for making the change.
He had met plenty of people when he had changed jobs. He had met people that he really got to like, but some of them were, well, they were different than he was. Some of them were a little bit more of a challenge. Some of them were kind of difficult to read at times, and others were just plain difficult in general. It was hard for people to realize that after working a job that was mostly a solitary job, it was hard to come into a job where there were so many personalities. He wondered if there were any people who really understood him–really any people who wanted to understand him at all?
So many people wanted to get their own way, to do their own thing. He could remember that he had tried anything and everything he could think of, just to keep from falling into the trap of getting wrapped up in the emotionally draining life of the other people in the office. There were so many personalities, that Charlie was afraid that he was never going to figure out what was real and what was not. He was afraid that he was never going to figure out anything at all. It was tired of not getting the chance to talk to people about the new job that he had taken, but feeling like he had been thrust into the position and expected to just pick up and do the job.
There were many things that Charlie was not good at, and change was one of those things. He was not good with change, and never had been since he was a teenager. It was something about the life he had been living. His mom had suddenly passed away, and things had been forced to change. From that moment on he had been determined not to do a whole lot of changing–not if he didn’t have to anyway. It was a protective measure.
Within a week he was wishing he was back at his old post at animal control. He was wishing that he was anywhere but where he was right then. Right then he was in the main office, trying to take care of everything. He was not sure that he was getting anything taken care of. He was not sure that he was seeing anything at all. He was trying to square everything around, and there seemed to be nothing that he could get squared away. He was sure that there was nothing that he could get figured out. He was sure that it was the only thing that he could do, the only way that he could make a living, to do the job that he had been sent here to do.
Life was grand, wasn’t it? He was sure that the last thing he really wanted to do was punish the people who were his friends, but that was what he was being asked to do in some ways. He was being asked to be deliberately mean to the people he had worked with in animal control. He wasn’t sure that any of them actually deserved what he was doing to them, and in fact he was sure that none of them did. He was trying to keep track of some of the things that he was doing, but there was no way that he was going to be able to keep track of everything that everyone else was doing to these people.
Some of the things that he’d heard of other employees doing, well, he was sure that there were others who were targeting other people. He was not sure that this wasn’t some sort of snipe hunt, and he wasn’t liking it one little bit. He was thinking that they were trying to find ways to get rid of some of the best and brightest people that worked for the city, and they were doing it in the most underhanded way ever. They were simply finding the dirt and exposing it. He was really doing anything and everything he could think of to find out who was going to be next on the short list of people to be targeted. He was really tired of making a target out of the people that he cared about the most. He realized that the people in this office were using him to get to the people in animal control, and that was all they were doing.
It was not until he started to investigate some of the people in the office that people started to take notice of things. He began to put people on report for things. He wanted people to know that there was no way that he was going to back down on his extracurricular activities. He wanted to show people that they were not innocent of their crimes either. They were just as guilty as the people they were digging up dirt on. It was something that they wanted to do, and some of them more than willingly. It didn’t seem to bother them. But it bothered Charlie. It bothered him a lot.
He was a little concerned about things. He was worried about his health. His sanity. His everything. There was no doubt about it, there was something about this life that was not normal for a person. He knew that there was a chance that he was going to be a person of touchy qualities. He was not the kind of person who liked to interfere in the lives of the people around him. He was not cut out for hurting the people who had never done him any harm. He was not the kind of person to inflict wounds. He loved people as though they were equals. Wasn’t that what he was called to do?
There were people who had never even heard of him before, and they were going to fall victim to him. They were going to be hurt by his actions. People who didn’t deserve to be treated this way. They deserved to be treated like human beings. That was all there was to it. They deserved to be treated like equals. Wasn’t that the way people were supposed to be treated? He couldn’t see why they weren’t.
Charlie was growing tired. He was growing weary of the job anyway, but when they let him go, the floodgates opened and he was one of the many who was without work, and he had no idea what he was going to do. He had already inflicted pain, and he had no idea what he was going to do to fix the things that he had done. He hoped there was a way to fix the things that he had done. He kind of hoped that he could find a way to make these people suffer for the things that they were doing. But he was not sure there was a way to do such a thing as a way to do that. He needed a plan in order to do that. He had nothing like that. He would devise one. He would plan–with the help of others. He wasn’t going to give up on his chance to make these people suffer.
He was going to get his due.
That was all there was to it. He didn’t know how, but he was planning it all out. Starting right now. He was figuring it all out right this very second.
**TO BE CONTINUED**
I have to say that there are a lot of things that I don’t really talk about, and loss is one of the things that I don’t talk about all that much. And as I don’t talk about the friends that I have to the people around me, when I lose one it hits me hard. It is really hard for me. I think of the things that really hit me the hardest. I think of the people who have been in my life, the people that I have lost. They have come, they have gone.
I have lost a lot of people in my life, and while I can take most of it in stride, I am not sure that I can handle some of it as easily as I used to. It is not as easy as it used to be. I can remember when I lost my half brother, my first experience with loss. I didn’t know how to deal with that. I didn’t know whether to be sad, angry, hurt, or what. I am sorry to see this happen to anyone. He was gone in a flash. It was unexpected.
I have held onto the idea that there was a chance that this friend of mine was going to get better. She was holding on. She was fighting. She was doing well. That was what I was told, and then all of a sudden the call came that told me she was gone. It happened all at once. She is no longer here and I am left with a lot of hurt and wishes that she was still here. I am left with the last talk that we had.
It never seems like the last talk was ever long enough. That the last time we told each other that we cared about each other was good enough. It seemed too contrived. Did she know that I loved her? Did she know that I cared? I hope that she did. It is all that I can do to keep from thinking these things. She was a good friend, and I never seem to say that I care about people near enough. I wish that I was willing to tell people that I cared a little bit more.
I think about the last time I saw them, face to face, it was before this mad pandemic began, and I think that this is just craziness. We had been careful because of the diagnosis that she had received. She knew that she had to be careful not to get anything, and now, well, now she is gone. Now I will not be able to see her again. And in this madness there will not be a way to go and say goodbye, not the way that I want to. Not a proper way. It all seems like madness. I wish there was some way to take these past 9 months back. I want to go back to the way things used to be.
I don’t know…I am too confused to write anymore.
Have you ever wondered why there is so much pain? So much heartache? So much anxiety? Well, there are those who will tell you that there is not, but I am not one of those people. I will tell you that there is, and that there always will be. I think that there is going to be pain as long as we are this way.
We tend to think of this as the human condition, and it really is.
From the dawn of our creation on, we have been suffering and dealing with pain and heartache. Anxiety and so much more. There has to be an end, right?
Well, there may be an end, one day, but do not count on that happening in the near future. I am here to say that as long as we are capable of it, we are going to make each other absolutely miserable. It is the way we are. I have been watching things unfold for some time. It is just the way that we are designed to be.
Someone not very long ago said that since 2012, things have been progressively been getting worse. Is that really true? Not really. Things are about the same as they were in 2001. And those things were about the same as they were in April 1999. Violence is violence. It is there.
Suffering is there.
I wish that I could say that rioting was new, but not even that is new to our condition. We have only to go back to the Vietnam War to find that rioting was as bad. Things just were not as sensationalized by the news because we did not have 24 hour news networks. This is a problem for us, we have access to the news all the time.
Have you thought about what is now called doomscrolling? This is the act of going through all the news about the pandemic or the riots or all the politics and just scrolling through it all.
When is the last time you scrolled for something good? When is the last time you looked up some good news? I know that I am just as guilty. Did you know that on November 30 was the the last lunar eclipse of the year? That is something to think about. I actually missed it because it was gray and cloudy here, but I would have liked to have seen it, because it was different. It was news that I would have liked to have been a part of.
There are so many different things that we can look up, that we can be a part of. Things that can bring a little light into our lives. I think that sometimes we need to bring a little sunshine into our lives. Sometimes we need to forget about the present and just look up something old. Think about something really off the wall old. Think about some obscure fact that doesn’t necessarily make sense, and then we can get through this. It is better than focusing all our efforts on the right here right now.
Because, let’s face it, if I face the here and now, I am going to go crazy. So go find some sunshine…some history…and read a good book. It will get you through the day. Unplug from the craziness. It will do you some good. I know it will me.
A Short Story By Adam J Kugler
There is a place that I once thought of as home. A place that I thought was always going to be home. I never knew that it was going to be different. I didn’t know I was going to grow up. I thought I was going to be like Peter Pan, or something like that. I mean I didn’t really want to grow up. I wanted to stay young forever. It was the way I wanted to be. Could you blame me?
As a child I had everything one could ever ask for. If I wanted anything, my parents gave it to me. That was that.
If I needed for anything, I just, well…I didn’t need for anything.
That was the thing, as I grew up, I didn’t know I was growing up. I really didn’t. I wanted to get older, but I didn’t. I wanted to stay the same age. I didn’t want to give up the things that I had been given. I remember this stuffed animal that I had been given as a three year old…I held onto it until I was eight. All because I didn’t want to grow up.
My parents took me from doctor to doctor. All of them said the same thing:
“You need to put you foot down with that kid. That is all there is to it.”
“What do you mean?” my mother would ask.
“Well, take away that silly rabbit. He thinks that he is three years old still. He is going on eight. That’s gotta stop.”
They did just that. They took away the rabbit. That was the stuffed animal I carried with me everywhere. I wasn’t afraid to take it with me anywhere I went. I think that was the thing, I wanted to take it with me everywhere, and my parents were more embarrassed than I was.
Oh well, they got over it. So did I.
When they took it away, I just got hooked on something else. Comic books. Yeah laugh away, but that was the thing for me. I got really hooked on comic books after that. And some of them were not the best things for young boys to be having, but my parents were just glad to have a boy that wasn’t lugging around a toy rabbit. So they got me anything I wanted…within reason.
Still to this day I have a hard time walking past a display of comic books without taking a few moments to look through them. Without taking some time to see if the next one in the series that I had was there.
But most of the time I’m not that lucky.
Yes, I believe in luck. Not God. I don’t believe that there is such a thing as God. Why? Because there is no way such a being could exist that could do this to human kind. This has to be their own dumb luck that has brought them this far. Chance encounters and right choices have made up the right things. I know, you are going to ask me how that got put into motion, well, you can believe what you want about that, but I choose to believe that there is no God.
I look at the amount of suffering that humans have had to go through, the amount of problems that they have to face, and I can’t believe that an all powerful God continues to let this happen. Why not? I don’t know. I just can’t. I have always seen things in the starkest of light. I think that if there was an all powerful, loving God, He would want the best for His creation, not the death and destruction that I see here before me.
There was a time when I might have believed. But that was a long time ago. A time before I had seen all this stuff. A time before all this tragedy began. Now I can’t, I just can’t. There is just no way for me to believe. I wish there was. I really do. If there was, I would find a way to believe because it is better than believing in nothing.
I don’t want to believe in nothing. I don’t. It feels strange to think that there is nothing after this life to look forward to. Nothing after this life to hang my hopes on. But I know that in the end there is nothing. I have no hope.
I write these words, as an old man.
I have never seen the sunrise. If only I could see that, maybe I could believe again. Maybe just maybe there would be a little hope for the future of all society. Many of us here have not seen the sunrise. We don’t believe the sun exists. We are told that it does, but that is just it, what we are told and what we know, they are different things.
We’ve lost so many things. Mankind has lost so very many things. First we lost Earth, and now we are losing the sun. What is next? I think it is very likely that we are going to lose so much more before things get to the end of our lives, but until I see the sunrise, I will not, and cannot, believe in God.
Mars is not the planet that everyone made it out to be. It was not our last best hope. There is still murder and betrayal. There are still other criminal things happening here. I wish I could say that they weren’t happening. I do wish that. It is hard to believe that there was something that was going differently here, but the crimes against humanity still take place, they just take place 40 million miles away from where they used to take place.
All some of us wanted was a little hope. But what we got instead was a dismissal. A letting go of the things that we wanted to see get better. They have gotten far worse. Or maybe they haven’t. We seem to think that things are getting worse, but are they really?
I don’t know anymore what is worse or better. I don’t know what is not so bad and what is really bad. We have to put our foot down. If this world is to get any better, someone has to say “Why not…?”
Why not make things better?
Why not believe in a better place?
I have to believe that we are the ones who are creating these monsters. But God has been allowing them to live on up here. And because of this, I am not sure I want to believe that He is really all that good.
Well, maybe He is.
Well, maybe that is the problem. Maybe He is so good that we have forgotten what we’re supposed to be doing.
There is a part of us, that in the middle of all the chaos and the noise, get lost inside all the humdrum of the things that are going on. We forget the things that really matter. We forget everything that really matters. Whether it is the birds that come and sit on the fence at the edge of the yard, or the backyard full of wild flowers in the spring.
It is something that I wish, more than ever, that I would have taken more time to enjoy.
Well, because there are things that I wish I would have enjoyed a little more. Things that I would not have rushed past, and ignored so much. I can remember the things that I said, well, I will get back to them, it will not be all that long before I am able to make it back to see them…Well, it has been too long.
There are times, and moments when I wanted nothing more than to go and see my goddaughter, because, well, she is growing up, and she lives a couple hours away. It is hard to think that so much can happen in such a short period of time.
I think about these moments as I am sitting alone at times like this. I think of all those moments when I am not able to sit and talk to the people that I love and care about, because they are just simply not in the same room that I am in. Why is that?
It is quite simply put…the evils of social distancing. But then again, it is something that we all have to learn to live with. It is all something that we are all going to have to get used to for a while. Until we are all able to get better. Is there anything wrong with that? No. I just think that it is going to be hard for people like me.
Who look forward to the chances they have to help the people around them get just a little better.
The time that it takes to build the relationships they have, well, it just takes time, and sometimes that is just not the easiest thing in the world to do.
The simple joys were just not the things that I used to think of once upon a time. I used to think that things were going to be alright—that things were going to just work themselves out, but now there are times that I am not sure that I want them to just work out. I want them to work out a specific way. I want things to go back to normal, but then again what is normal.
I miss the kids playing at my feet. I miss the ball game playing in the background.
I miss a lot of things.
But I know that in the end I don’t have to miss the little things that count. The things that mean the most. The telling people that I love them at the end of a conversation. It is something that I have come to appreciate.
Where has all the time gone, the time that has shown that all the simple things are not lost—they are not even close to being lost. That they will never be lost. I think that people are finally beginning to understand that there is something to this life—something that they have never really understood—they have a chance to make life anything they want it to be.
You don’t have to go real far to make something of life.
You don’t have to have all the things of this world.
It is simply the reality of this life—the life that we have—that we can do anything we really want with the life that we have. We can make life really into the things that we want it to be. We just have to try.
Sometimes I like to just sit and do nothing, but then there are times when I like to at least make it look like I am doing a little something. So I pretend that I am doing something. It is a good and attentive way to be. Sometimes that is the only way to make things count.
There are times that I enjoy taking a little bit of nothing and turning it into a little bit of something. I have really enjoyed doing that. It is a part of the joy of being a photographer. Taking something and making it something, and that is not always the easiest thing to do.
But in the end I always try to find a way to make things count. And I always try to find the things that count.
Why don’t you try to find something that counts?
Adam J Kugler
It is never surprising to see what people think does not count toward what is going on in their lives. They think that they are honest people, but in reality they are so full of telling lies that they are deceiving themselves.
What do I mean?
Well, there are several people who just do not get the idea that they can’t be honest people, and tell all the “white lies” that they tell. I think that this is the single greatest downfall to Christianity there is. I think that there are so many Christians out there who are suffering right now from the idea that they can tell a half truth and get away with it. Wrong! Someone is going to know—and that someone is God.
Sometimes it is clear that the things that we need to be is what I call brutally honest about things. I think that people need to hear about the honesty that we have about things. I think that so many people fail to hear the truth about the things that are going on in our lives. The things that we try to keep out of sight sometimes, for fear that they will get stepped on.
I know that it is hard to get some things across—but some of us have a habit of not telling the truth to ourselves.
Have you ever been guilty of lying to yourself? I know that I have. Telling yourself one lie after the next. People who often find themselves in anxious places, are often times very often guilty of lying to themselves. We tend to lie to ourselves about all sorts of stupid things. We try to sugarcoat the truth about the same thing.
Every day is a new chance for you to be honest with yourself, and with the people in your life. There are plenty of things that you went through. You don’t have to make up the stories in order to make up the things that you really went through. I have plenty of experiences where I woke up in the middle of the night, wondering how I was going to get through the night—I have dealt with nightmares for many years, and I still do.
Many people wonder why someone my age would admit to having nightmares. What horrors have I seen? Well, there are horrors that I have seen that I will not share here—some that are still too personal to share. That haunt my dreams. Some of them are nightmares that are a touch different than anything some would ever want to go through. Suffering in this time—in this world right now is something that we need not do. This is a time that we need to come together. That we need to tell our stories.
Every single story gives us a chance to show people that we know how to be honest people. I think that honesty is the best thing we can give to people—especially to the people who are in our lives.
As a Christian, I believe that honesty is a paramount part of my life. It is something that I need to show to the people around me. Every day is something new, and different but it gives us a unique chance to love one another, and to show people that they are getting the real us, and they can only get the real us, if we take the time to unplug and actually show them the truth of who we are.
It is easy to say that honesty is the best policy… but I have to admit, it is not the easiest policy. It is not easy to always look at the people you love and tell them the truth of the matter, now is it?
So start practicing a little honesty. For me. For you. For God.
Adam J Kugler
Ever since I was a little kid things have presented themselves in different ways—little things in little ways and big things in big ways. It is just the fact that there is no sign that there is something that we can hope that we can possibly get through something on our own.
Maybe it is me, but in the last few days, I have seen things go from mild fascination, to all out panic and fear. What I have seen is beyond all imagining in the world.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to play down the COVID-19 virus problem, not at all, but what I am telling you is that we don’t have to live in fear. If we live in fear, there is a greater chance of this thing winning than there is of us as a human race winning.
Just imagine, there was a war in this country, the Civil War had broken out and many young men were dying. But many of them were not dying of the wounds that they were getting alone. No, many of them were dying of the diseases that they were getting as well.
Pneumonia, Dysentery and many other illnesses that we only are beginning to understand now. These are the things that come with war. These are the things that also have been big time killers over the ages.
As we look out over time influenza (flu), and pneumonia have been big time killers in the past. These two have been world wide epidemics for many years.
We are only now beginning to understand really the spread of some of these illnesses. We are not even sure about the spread of COVID-19. We know that social distancing works. What does that mean? It means staying away from other people. Would a two or three week break for the country be possible? For most of it, yes. And it might stop the spread of the virus to a great degree, but whether it would stop people from socially gathering, it is hard to say.
As I watch and casinos are shut down, and bars and restaurants must seat people at least 6 feet from each other in order to stay open. It is clear that there is some clear cut reasoning to think that this social distancing thing might work. It has worked in other countries, such as China itself. But the question is, can a very social country like the US, pull something like that off?
What will society look like in another few weeks?
There are many questions to ask. Will we be safe? Will society look different? I think that people are asking these questions, and there is an undeniable answer that yes humankind will be safe to an extent, but at the same time, we have to look to God. An unfailing love for Christ is the only thing that is going to keep us safe. It is the only security that we are going to have.
Will society look different? I think that it will look different. I think that society always looks different after something like this. We are faced with this kind of thing all the time. We are faced with new illnesses, and new things that shape our ability to be around others. Still they shape how society looks. Will we in America continue to live 6 feet apart? Probably not.
It is just a part of society for now. Still we need to think about the future of how we want to think about how we react to things. I think that one thing that we need to do is react swiftly to cut off the swiftly moving changes of society. We need to learn that if we have to stay apart from one another than so be it—but that it is not so cool to be together in a large area, with lots of people.
Things happen. Illness spreads. But the love of Christ is even greater than the fear that some would have us believe in. It is what keeps me relaxed and willing to go out and about in the everyday walkabout world. I have no fear because I know that no matter where I go, Jesus Christ has gone before me.
Writing to calm the fears!
Adam J Kugler
Well, we all know what a line is… and there is no doubt that we understand the linear thought. It is something that we all have to understand because it is how we as the human being think.
We think in the linear because everything is linear in many ways. Everything is point A to point B to point C and so on. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a big difference when one thinks of a plane.
Now I would normally try to leave this hanging out there, but I think that this is best to show you in words, and I can only share with you pictures of the past, because things that represent the past are available.
Say that as human beings we look at the Bible as a time line… there you have the first piece of evidence in our case. We see things as linear evidence. There is everything set in motion and one thing happens that leads to the next, which in turns leads to the next. In the end it leads to us being where we are today.
However, in the path in brought about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and the death of Peter and several others. Now as we look at it these things were one led to the other. Without the death of Christ there would have been no death of Paul. Well, that is not the case when one looks at things from God’s perspective. He sees things outside of that linear model.
What do I mean? Well, he sees things all at once. The blowing of the Last trumpet was taking place at the same time as he was removing Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.
Yes, it was that complex of a thing. He saw things that way. He was working on a plane. He was seeing things all at once. He saw us, and our birth at the same time as he was watching things being set into motion. He KNEW all about the things that were going on, long before we existed linearly. But then again, God exists on a plane, not on a line.
Picture, if you will, that at the same time that he was talking to Adam and Eve in the Garden, that he was hearing your prayers. I know, hard to fathom. It seems hard to understand, and the reason is, that it is all because we are linear people, and we want to make God a linear being. If we can trap God inside the same box as the one that we are in, then He will be able to be understood.
I don’t know about you, but I would rather have a God that is partially not understood than a God who is totally understood!
There is something about this linear model—this person that I am, that has locked me into this place. I no longer want to stay in this place. I want to worship not linearly but on the plane where God is. I want to be able to be where God is.
We here phrases that we can be “one” as “he is one” and we do not understand them, because we are still being trapped in this linear box. We must understand that God is not trapped here, in this linear box, but is on a much bigger, much grander scale than we are. When we realize this, that is when we become “one with him” and unite on that plane.
We do this not on our own, but together. We cannot find this apart from other people. We have to find other believers to be with in order to find people who will help us. Otherwise we will be trapped in a linear worship forever.
I hope that this helps.
Adam J Kugler